02/21 - Ageusia

[keephimtalking]

So I just randomly stop being able to taste things now again. Thought it was the weather at first, but... I just woke up this morning and went two hours not being able to taste a damn thing.

[ Breakfast was pretty fucking weird. ]

Gonna head over to the hospital to get it checked out in a bit, but I just... wanted to know if anyone else has been getting weird stuff like this? After our... after your accident?

Or, hell, I know most of you are humans, but if anyone's got a clue what it might be, I'd be happy to hear it.

Comments

[inventor]

( tone dry, ) Drink too much of that disgusting bile you call alcohol?

( good news everyone! the alcohol lantar makes and sells won't turn you blind! bad news everyone! it'll leave you with such a bad taste in your mouth that not even licking dirt will take it away!

if you never trust howard, at least trust him on this. he's got things growing on his tongue as proof. )

[keephimtalking]

Don't go projecting your weird problems on me, buddy.

[ He should name that drink combo the 'Howard Special' and give it out to cocky assholes. ]

[inventor]

You projected your weird problems on me, pal. And I drank 'em. And now I can't have soup without it dribbling from my mouth.

( he should rename the drink combo, "alas poor tastebuds! i knew thee well!" and give it out to the terminally ill or suicidal. )

[keephimtalking]

Maybe you should be the one seeking medical help here.

Everything's certified human-friendly, so either you had some allergies you didn't know about or you're just giving me shit to try and get more free alcohol.

[inventor]

( shhhh lantar. don't give howard any ideas on how to score more free alcohol. ) All humans are allergic to disinfectant, pal.

[keephimtalking]

What- wh-

[ Lantar stops and takes a slow, deep breath, planting his forehead against the heel of his palm. ]

Alright, next time you come in, I'll give you something off the designated driver's menu, howabout? Alcohol free.

[inventor]

( he gasps, audibly. his mouth drops in shock and his hand rests against his heaving chest. no joke. howard is acting like this is the greatest surprise and betrayal of his life. you wouldn't dare, lantar. there's a gruff defiance in his voice when he responds, ) Yeah, well. I'm gonna go build my own bar. With blackjack. And hookers! In fact, forget the bar.

( he'll make moonshine in his bathtub at home and it'll only be kind of gross tasting, not mostly gross tasting stuff like lantar's stuff. then he'll move on to toilet wine and become a regular al capone.

oh gods of history, is this how prohibition started? when an asshole made one too many insults towards a sarcastic yet not that bad bartender and refused to apologize? from howard's nonexistent memory of it, yes. )

[keephimtalking]

Oh, yeah. I can definitely see hookers wanting to work for you, instead of going freelance and not having to deal with your dumb face telling them humans are allergic to disinfectant.

Fuck you, mate.

[ The town has a population of five hundred and nada. Living expenses could be covered by a four day work week. If Howard actually manages to find one person who won't drop him in a week, Lantar'll eat his boot.

Also, buddy, that's incredibly unsanitary, please don't make wine in your toilet. ]