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HELLO DA VINCI

DA VINCI

DA VINCI READ THIS !!!!!!!

DA VINCI

DA VINCI

DA VINCI

DA VINCI YOU ARE USELESS GET OUT OF THE STUPID SHOP AND READ THE MESSAGE FROM THE HUMAN MACHINE

OR I WILL SMASH YOUR BIRD DA VINCI

DA VINCI

DA VINCI

DA VINCI

YOU ARE A TERRIBLE CASTER

DA VINCI

DA VINCI

DA VINCI!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I DO NOT CARE WHERE JIJI GETS HIS FOOD YOU PRESUME THIS INFORMATION IS OF ANY IMPORTANCE TO ME AND YOU ARE WRONG YOU ARE IRRELEVANT

I don't think Jiji cooks, Iba.

I'm not saying that you have to answer my questions, no one is saying that.

HE CAN GET FOOD OTHER WAYS AND EVEN THEN I DO NOT CARE IF HE HAS FOOD OR NOT SO ASK LESS QUESTIONS HUMAN YOU TIRE ME

I'm sure.

[ SHES NOT TALKING TO YOU ANY MORE ]

I'm not getting food other ways.

I DO NOT CARE I DO NOT NEED YOU FOR FOOD IT IS YOU WHO WANTS ME TO DO THINGS

So don't do them.

You have the freedom to say no.

I WILL

Okay.

There's whiskey in the cabinet when you get bored.

[Nyx no.]

I DO NOT WANT YOUR PITIFULLY WEAK HUMAN ALCOHOL

[ if there's no reply, its because she's on her way to his house to steal all his booze and maybe also whatever meat... is in the fridge. ]

[God, this child is endless amounts of headaches. Can he just fight a cerberus again? That was much preferable.

This is the beginning of him having to actually keep a healthily stocked kitchen, isn't it?]

[ he won't actually know she's there until she's LITERALLY in the same room as him, because ibaraki's a little shit who snuck in through the second story window which was not unlocked she just... broke the lock, oops, and snuck downstairs... which leaves plenty of time for nyx to assume she actually meant it when she said she didnt want his liquor and get distracted. as it is, the pair of horns appear first, then followed by the rest of her, glaring at jiji.

NO WORDS, JUST MAKING A BEELINE FOR THAT LIQUOR CABINET ]

[He's not aware anything's amiss until a cold chill travels down his spine as the eyes of a vicious, tiny girl glare upon him.

It's too bad at this point in time he doesn't actually know he has magic otherwise he might have been more prepared for this. As it so happens he is just...not fast enough to prevent her from getting to the cabinet.

Luckily, or perhaps unluckily? There's not exactly a good stock of booze to choose from. He's not exactly accustomed to a cabinet for fancy alcohol so his drink of choice is the cheap beer in the fridge. Of which he will not be informing her of.]

.........

I thought you didn't want anything from me?

[ sorry, she's a little busy, rooting through the cabinet and looking for the whiskey... but not too busy to mutter under her breath like a displeased houseplant. ]

Thinking I will wait to be given things... that is not what oni do, oni take whatever they so wish to have... hmph...

[ having successfully found the bottle she twists the lid off in that weird way she handles everything when she wants to avoid getting her claws involved, and unceremoniously ~~throws it at~~ tosses it to nyx. then she slams the whole thing back in one go like a champ.

at least she doesnt smash the whole thing on the ground when she is done. ]

You should get sake instead, jiji.

[He moves aside to dodge the cap, turning to watch it bounce before resuming his bemused staring as she chugs the whiskey like water. Nyx raises an eyebrow, impressed, and quietly says a grateful thanks to the Six that he doesn't have an entire stock.

Trying to care for your oni is like having a hole in his wallet.]

I have no idea what sake is.

[He's going to regret this.]

[ undeterred, ibaraki drops the now empty bottle back into the cabinet (because she is a slob) and instead hops up onto the back of the couch, putting her a little closer to eye level with nyx when she sits down, legs curled up against her chest. the effect is oddly childish, despite the conversation topic. ]

It is rice wine. Human alcohol does nothing for Servants, but the taste... mu. It is better, see?

[Recycle the damn bottle, Iba.

To his credit he doesn't lean away from her. He's comfortable and, really, is used to this level of her weirdness by now.]

Oh, I know rice wine. It's called something different- [Back home.] ...overseas. I could probably arrange that.

[ no maybe she wants to live in her own garbage!!! MAYBE SHE WANTS YOU TO LIVE IN HER GARBAGE.

eyes emoji here tho ]

Oho! Jiji has his uses after all...! [ legit, she just clapped her hands a little bit. ]

But if it is poisoned, I will kill you, remember this. Humans do not have a good history of giving oni sake, and it is only because I have bestowed upon you the unholy blessing of my good graces that you may even try.

[ ............. WE WERE DOING SO GOOD, WITH NOT THREATENING TO KILL JIJI, IBA. YOU WERE DOING SO. GOOD. ]

[He doesn't want to live in your garbage, dammit.

His eyes flatten in exasperation. She's makes him so tired, and he can never tell when to take her seriously. It feels like trying to keep a daemon as a pet, or raising behemoth cubs.]

Do you really think I'd use something as obvious as poison if I wanted to kill you? I don't have to give you anything. I already paid you back for distracting that cop, and I'm not trying to get anything from you. What would I gain?

[Does reason work on an oni?]

You are a human, and it will always be in a human's nature to fear that which preys upon it.

[ if he doesn't know why ibaraki douji, leader of the oni of mt ooe does not want poisoned sake, he doesn't need to know. she has no fear of people knowing who she is, but its idiotic to simply just pass out your weaknesses. ]

Perhaps you think it would save you from being devoured.

[ even with the childish pose, the wide-eyed expression, the blithe tone she takes, there's no mistaking, she's definitely establishing herself as the predator here. ]

[Nyx refuses to be prey, even if he is no match for all that she's capable of. He hasn't experienced what she can do yet, not in any format stronger than what he's already died to, but the look in her eyes is unmistakable: she can and will try to kill him if given reason to.

He squares his shoulders, staring back in a clear lack of fear. Could he die? Possibly. Is it stupid? He knows several people who would say 'definitely'. But he didn't become a Glaive by cowering before things bigger than he is.]

You could stand to meet more of us.

[ ibaraki's stare is calculating, cold and predatory — in the relative gloom of inside the house, her eyes even seem to glow with a faint luminosity hinting at the supernatural truth to her nature despite the body of a tiny girl, physically unimpressive. nyx is considerably bigger than her, but he has an idea of what she can do... so either, he is stupidly brave, or can back up that big attitude.

she likes that about him. stupid, for a human's standards, but guts... she can respect guts. a human with guts can do a lot, even if it does not have her power. her expression splits into a pointed grin as she settles down more onto the back of the couch. ]

Hou... [ a small chuckle at the sight of him, ufufufufu ] They are not all so interesting, jiji. The only enjoyment is in the chase, otherwise.

[There's a chill down his spine at that gleam; the grin unsettling even as she relaxes her stare. He shifts to keep facing her, suddenly not wanting her to be at his back.

A passerby might find it odd that he's so wary of a 'child', but it's not on him if they can't see a truth in front of their eyes.]

You would have fit right in during the war, Ibaraki. I can't even say you'd have been on my side. [It's significantly more likely that she wouldn't have been.]

Of course I would not. [ she snorts, an undignified, disdainful sound. ]

Oni do not fight in human wars — not during. We defile your dead with the carrion eaters when the battle is done, steal from your victors while they are drunk on the spoils of war. Human conflict is nothing but an opportunity for my kind, an unlocked vault of treasure to be plundered, an endless feast for the taking.

(no subject)

sirnyxalot - 2017-07-18 09:55 (UTC) - Expand

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