message board; username: [ a literal keysmash ]

[dehanded]

HELLO DA VINCI

DA VINCI

DA VINCI READ THIS !!!!!!!

DA VINCI

DA VINCI

DA VINCI

DA VINCI YOU ARE USELESS GET OUT OF THE STUPID SHOP AND READ THE MESSAGE FROM THE HUMAN MACHINE

OR I WILL SMASH YOUR BIRD DA VINCI

DA VINCI

DA VINCI

DA VINCI

YOU ARE A TERRIBLE CASTER

DA VINCI

DA VINCI

DA VINCI!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments

[dehanded]

YOURE NOT JIJI

WHO ARE YOU BIRD

im glad ibaraki found another 8 year old to talk to

[guerrilla]

guess


>:)

dear internet please bring dan blackmore to pines so we can have a real dad in this town

[dehanded]

NO YOU MUST TELL ME

ive been praying for literal years........hes dead jim

[guerrilla]

it's me




da vinci

[STOP HIM,]

[dehanded]

YOU ARE HERE AND DO NOT TELL ME HOW TO LEAVE

YOU TRULY ARE USELESS

GIVE ME A REASON I SHOULD NOT DEVOUR YOU

[guerrilla]

because i'm in charge of mana prism production

[dehanded]

TICKETS AND SMALL DOGS ARE USELESS HERE

ALSO WHO WOULD YOU BURN

DO NOT SAY GREEN MAN HE BELONGS TO ME

[guerrilla]

wait, what?

robin doesn't belong to you

[dehanded]

YOU CANNOT TRICK ME SHOPKEEP

HE IS NOT FOR BURNING

I NEED HIM

[guerrilla]

why?

[dehanded]

GIVE ME SOMETHING AND MAYBE I WILL TELL YOU

he's cringing internally while he types this

[guerrilla]

ok

i put some candy in a balloon somewhere in town

but it wouldn't be fun if i told you where it was! think of this as a surprise from the cute and lovely da vinci ☆

for my next trick, i will get robin to pretend to crytype

[dehanded]

HMMMM


[ there is a very long pause, but not because shes climbing out the window and onto the roof to see if she can see a balloon anywhere in town, definitely not! nope!! ]



I WANT SOMETHING BETTER THAN THAT

[guerrilla]

better how? i'm not getting you alcohol

just so you know

[dehanded]

YOU ARE PATHETIC

MAKE ME SAKE

A GENIUS COULD MAKE GOOD SAKE

[guerrilla]

MAKE IT YOUR DAMN SELF

[that wasn't very da vinci-like]

[dehanded]

[ no, listen. caps lock means youre just talking normal, right? ]

YOU ADMIT IT YOURSELF YOU CANNOT DO IT

A GENIUS INDEED

CANNOT EVEN PROPERLY MAKE ALCOHOL

IT AMAZES ME THAT OUR MASTER EVEN KEEPS YOU AT ALL

[guerrilla]

I'M A PAINTER, YOU GODDAMN BRAT

[dehanded]

YOU DO NOT WRITE THE WORD PAINTER THE SAME AS GENIUS

SO YOU ARE ALSO A LIAR

[guerrilla]

i'd tell you to read a book about me but i don't even know if you know how to read.

[dehanded]

[ if she knew how to use the "?" key she'd put one here ]

I AM SPEAKING WITH WORDS YOU FOOL

[guerrilla]

how do i know you're not just using the voice to text function? you've been calling me a liar but maybe you've been lying the whole time.

[listen i know those didnt exist in the 90s but im running with this]

[dehanded]

[ YOU COULD FOOL HERE SHE DOESNT KNOW THIS IS AN UNFAIR ARGUMENT


if robin is within earshot of murder house, he's going to hear a screeching roar in a few seconds. and possibly see a laptop go flying out a window, followed a few minutes later by an angry oni who comes out to pick it up, changes her mind and punts it around the yard for a few minutes, and then picks it up and carries it inside again.

how it still works after all of that, we have no idea. ]

I DO NOT LIE WHEN I SAY I WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR BIRD AND BURN YOUR WHOLE WORKSHOP TO THE GROUND AND THEN PUT OUT THE FLAMES WITH YOUR IDIOT PAINTS AND THEN BURN IT ALL AGAIN AND TAKE ANY QUARTZ WHEN MASTER TRIES TO SUMMON YOU AGAIN

[guerrilla]

you'll have to catch me first, and you don't know where i am. and you'll never find out, because the magic of da vinci-chan is the strongest of them all! ♥

[just excuse him while he dies internally typing this]

action.

[dehanded]

[ so a window on the second floor of murder house just opened with a slam, and an oni just stuck her head out with a deep, anticipatory breath. ]

Green man! [ no answer? better try again. louder, just to be careful. ] GREEN MAN! [ a deeper breath. ] GREEN MAN!

[ EVEN BIGGER INHALE... she's been living with eliza, lets hope she didn't pick anythiNG UP... ]