message board post - un: switchitonanov

[fe_male]

call out post: my gf wont let me eat dinner until i go back out and buy her exactly half a pickle

y is this happening

Comments

[bearswitness]

Thanks but I really don't think anyone here asked about your private intimacies, if you could just keep those to yourself it would be great.

[fe_male]

wow what is it like living in ur head

un: v.potts

[ceoinstilettos]

I feel as though I need to clarify,
It's not a euphemism for... [ nope, can't do it. ] for anything.

[ let's please not talk about tony and his pickle. ]

un: mr.rogers

[paragon]

That's​ a pretty specific request.

[ Listen, he's not gonna be the one to jump to conclusions this time. ]

[fe_male]

[ thank you steve ]

i was mostly expecting the apparent insignificance of the request to be the priority here
shes holding all the food hostage

un: stcass

[ouzel]

She needs you to be out of the house for some reason.

[fe_male]

[ that might cause a small hitch in tony's steps on his way to mr. pickle palace because he hadn't actually thought of that. ]

i feel like she might have done better not picking a task where i kno im racing against a cooling pizza

un: ArtGeek

[babyhunter]

Why... does she want exactly half of a pickle?

[fe_male]

equal distribution of household items

un: Ms.Lewis

[seeyaduke]

I'm sure Pepper wouldn't do it if you didn't deserve it.

[fe_male]

while normally i wldnt b disinclined 2 agree rn i am not sure the punishment fits the crime

un: p.maximoff

[windchasing]

No one cares.

[fe_male]

im so glad u didnt care enough to come here & tell me abt how much u dont care

un: c.forbes

[coy]

Is she pregnant?

[fe_male]

no

[ ????? she wanted him out of the house and now this, what, maybe, but no ]

[ceoinstilettos]

No, definitely not pregnant.

un: l.dectus

[vdova]

switchitonanov? really?

[fe_male]

whats wrong

un: writingdesk

[corby]

only half a pickle
yikes
hopefully thats not a personal refelction on u

[fe_male]

[ she almost gets "if i wasnt n possession of it & had 2 leave 2 get it how could it b" but instead this seems better: ]

nah my nickname was always baby carrot

un:FunnyShoes

[keephimtalking]

is this a weird human courting ritual thing

[bearswitness]

See now that was my question. It's been denied but I'm still skeptical, humans are unreliable that way.

un: stvitus

[bastardofipswich]

[ Oddly specific cravings instantly equal PREGNANCY in his mind, so: ]

gratz on the baby i guess

[ceoinstilettos]

[ oh boy. ]

Thanks, but there's no baby.

un: driver

[chauffeuring]

What would happen to the other half of the pickle?

un: crossbones

[comesfrompain]

What constitutes as half a pickle? Half of an average pickle or half of the individual pickle chosen? Is she going to measure it?

[Someone's bored.]

[ceoinstilettos]

I am not going to measure it.
But it's 1/2 of a 1/4 of a pickle, apparently.

UN: skye

[morethan084]

So you're going to get it for her, right?