Backdated: June 10th, 2:24am - A very drunk network post

[onteamdyson]

yOU KNOW WHAT SUCKS? like. i mean. okay that waS a f engeral. question. don't like.
f you if you say vaccuums liMke some kIND o f smrtaASS. im gonna tell you. So listen the fridge up!

men. men suck. all men. zero exceptions.

they are LYING LIARS that LIE? and you trust them an D THEY JUST>? they just leave? and they breaK YOUR entiRe hearT?!?! and the Y aRENT EVen worth SHIT! ok? they warent worth SHIP! so like. dont even lose spilled milk over them and

stfuff.

becAuse even when you

if you donT even fall for them but you just need them? they arent there! you'R e just on y o ur own! so dont even trust anyone!

Comments

un: kingshit

[sybaritic]

preach on, sista

[ is eliot a] a man and b] currently into a man he's enjoying extending even the smallest modicum of trust to? yes, both of those are true, what is your point ]

UN: junglejeevesisdead

[onteamdyson]

ELIOT GET OUT OF MY THREAD WITH YOUR GOOGOO HEART EYES AND ENCHANTED BONERS ALL THE TIME

can you bring me another drink pls?

un: mr.rogers

[paragon]

Do you need someplace?

UN: junglejeevesisdead

[onteamdyson]

i need a tim machine

timE mache

...

timemachine

un: all

[beallandendall]

I would take exception with those accusation, but I really don't care. However, if you need a place to lay face down for a few hours, you can have my tree house.

[onteamdyson]

pETEIM not gonna sleep in a tree house and ur not even a man ur my cousin

... can u see the stars?

un: tink

[trybelieving]

You're not entirely on your own. There are a number of us who'd help you if you needed it.

Do you need it?

UN: junglejeevesisdead

[onteamdyson]

You know who is my enumber one helper right now?
this. glass. this. eliot ownt give me the bottle but i mean the drinks keep showing up so its the saem?

ilike your username :)))) <3 :5

un: b.barnes

[zymasoldat]

Is this Kenzi?

UN: junglejeevesisdead

[onteamdyson]

no its ur conscience

get a haircut

in: l.dectus

[vdova]

i know how to smother a man in his sleep
just as a casual aside

un: all

[beallandendall]

I'll provide an alibi.

UN: junglejeevesisdead

[onteamdyson]

he n ev er sleeps. hes an unfeeling killer robot hivemind iwith no free will or emotionas

ps stove doesnt even count beca use hes not just a stupid man hes like. a sunbeam in a gramp a sweater

hes the huma n embodiement of home made waffles.

un: Ms.Lewis

[seeyaduke]

Well said. Also there are a large amount of woods where people can dump bodies.

I'm just speculating of course, but there are a lot of shovels.

[Let her help you kill someone, Kenzi.]

UN: junglejeevesisdead

[onteamdyson]

the amount of ladies that know how to kill or dispose of people is equal to t h e amont. amount. of. more ladies i ne e d in my social circle.

2. its 2. so far. hi im kenzi. also p sure bodies get dumped there all the time so tis not even a joke anmore its real life realtalk

un: clubroughly

[cacoethical]

this is absolutely true and you sound as though you could use a long walk and a really good pizza the curative properties of which i can personally vouch for

hey wait :-O :-O :-O when you say they arent there do you mean actually not there like you've lost them like the spilt milk???????????

which ill be losing sleep over by the way the mere concept of losing spilt milk HAUNTS me i mean where has it gone?????? for starters there are a whole lot of questions here

[onteamdyson]

1st thing - I CAN ALWAYS USE PIZZA?
2nd - the curative pr .operties of pizaza is a legit sceincetific thing that i would have wroet my dissertation on if id gone to real person school like a real person
3three - there are two
too many* lying liar men to even keep track of their actual or metaphorical thereness and also

3a - i dont give a fuck

4 - it left. its gone. its in the past. impermeaaable. time is an illusion. elt it go.
the milk is all of us. the end.

un; R4gn0r0k

[notblayde]

is this where im supposed 2 say "#notallmen"

sry

having a rough night i take it

is it prying 2 ask?


((the treehouse offer is still open btw))

[onteamdyson]

not if you want to retian the ability to pee standing upp

rough weekl. month. rough. existenec.

idk are we legit frinds or fake ones like all the res t of the fakethigns

...wh y are you offering my cousin's tree house?

un; taakofromtv

[fromtv]

hear fucken hear! I'd say let's make this puppy a toast but from the look of it you're way ahead of me.

take it from me darling you are speaking nothing but the truth. this boy? here? hi, he's seen far too much to disagree with you. fuck em!

wait do you mean like human men or just all guys in general
I'm down with both sentiments but the clarification is important.

[onteamdyson]

human men. wolf men. siren men. mesmer men.

mensmers.

mermens?

anyone with a stupid penis or a stujpid nongenderspecific ...junk... thing

which one are y oyu?

un: hellonurse

[postpartor]

[ Maybe it's the fact that she recognizes that the Eliot Kenzi is yelling at is her Eliot because who else could that diction belong to, or maybe it's just... female sympathy. Or both. Probably both. ]

You tell 'em.

And maybe get yourself a drink of water or three.

[onteamdyson]

all my water bottles are filled with vodka

same diff tbh

[Kenzi, you are a disaster. A sad, sad, alcoholic disaster.]

new outdated laptop, who dis

un: gecko

[mierda]

Your entiRe heart? Not just half?

UN: junglejeevesisdead

[onteamdyson]

the entiRe thing. all of it. the whole shablam.
i dont half ass anything

unless its boring and then fuck it im hal fassing that crap or avoidign it entirely

how dfo you even give someone half a heart its not something you caN just section off and control its an entire whol e thing. hALFHEARTEDLY IS JUST A PHRASE

un: [ a literal keysmash ]

[dehanded]

YES KILL ALL HUMANS

KILL THEM ALL

un: mr.rogers

[paragon]

Didn't we talk about this?